I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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