I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
