tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
