Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
