called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
