If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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