you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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