are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The Olympian is in my bed
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
