Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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