I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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