He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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