My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
