It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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