Dual....:-)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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