Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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