I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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