I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
