The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Randomize
