that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
