her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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