The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
