I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
