Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
