Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
