He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
