he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
