You're earring is so big in my mouth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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