brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
