My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
