Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
