There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
