Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
