i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
