when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
