haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
