How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Less talking, more tequila
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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