I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
