Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
