took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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