It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
