PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
