In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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