I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize