Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So much rum. So many feels.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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