Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
