Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
