The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
