I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
