The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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