I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Let's paint friendship bongs
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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