Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I forget how to act sober
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
