it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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