Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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