so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
