dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
