Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The struggles of a small town man whore
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
