p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
