Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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