Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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