So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
