I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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