if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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